5.14.2006
Maybe Someday
I met a woman today.Her close friend is dying of cancer.
He's 44 years old and he has anywhere
from a few days to a few months to live.
She asked him if he wished he'd done anything differently. He did. He wished he did more to help people and he wished he played a musical instrument.
A few words of wisdom from my father come to mind: Better to regret the things you did than regret the things you didn't. Perhaps I'm wondering when it's appropriate to 'regret' one way or the other. Perhaps I'm looking into the phrase too much.
Everything I've ever done has made me who I am today. How can I regret any part of myself? Of course I have a few memories I don't care to revisit, but who doesn't feel that way about some experiences? Isn't that what life is? A set of experiences. Whether it's a shorter version or a longer version, it's still a set.
The woman I met today said something else that I'm still thinking about. She mentioned a friend of her's whose daughter was permanently brain damaged at birth. She also mentioned that she's left some money, for her friend, in her will to pay for some of the expenses it takes to care for the daughter. There was an afterthought, and I'm not sure she would even remember saying it out loud, but I heard her. She said, "It's better than giving it to one of those not-for-profits where it would go straight to someone's very high salary."
It hit home. I work at a not-for-profit, helping people, and I've learned a select few have an exceptionally higher salary than the rest of us. I play a musical instrument, the drums - but not nearly as often as I'd like. If I were told I had between a few days and a few months to live, what would I regret?
photo by: my husband
A few words of wisdom from my father come to mind: Better to regret the things you did than regret the things you didn't. Perhaps I'm wondering when it's appropriate to 'regret' one way or the other. Perhaps I'm looking into the phrase too much.
Everything I've ever done has made me who I am today. How can I regret any part of myself? Of course I have a few memories I don't care to revisit, but who doesn't feel that way about some experiences? Isn't that what life is? A set of experiences. Whether it's a shorter version or a longer version, it's still a set.
The woman I met today said something else that I'm still thinking about. She mentioned a friend of her's whose daughter was permanently brain damaged at birth. She also mentioned that she's left some money, for her friend, in her will to pay for some of the expenses it takes to care for the daughter. There was an afterthought, and I'm not sure she would even remember saying it out loud, but I heard her. She said, "It's better than giving it to one of those not-for-profits where it would go straight to someone's very high salary."
It hit home. I work at a not-for-profit, helping people, and I've learned a select few have an exceptionally higher salary than the rest of us. I play a musical instrument, the drums - but not nearly as often as I'd like. If I were told I had between a few days and a few months to live, what would I regret?
photo by: my husband
:: posted by chumpsrock, 11:46 PM
2 Comments:
The drums, Rocker, the drums...
this made me think. my aunt has a few years to live due to cancer, and i know she doesn't regret anything... but if i were in her shoes, i don't know what i'd regret. i'm still young, barely 20, and all i can think is i don't want to be 44, like my aunt and oddly like the person you had talked to, and regret not living my life to the fullest. it's these kind of posts in blogs that i look forward to, things that make me think and give me a new perspective on life. thank you for posting this. seeing things in writing makes it so much more clear.
