I can tell because my eyes are always red. It's not drug-induced, but I'm beginning to wish is was.


I've managed to think myself into a conundrum.



It was all so obvious at the time. I was working somewhere I didn't want to work, thinking about what I would find valuable in an employer. I came up with some pretty straight forward ideas and I even had the courage to believe that these ideas meant enough for me to pursue. I wanted to do something I would be proud of that has to do with people and fulfills a void of some kind within the realm of humanity. I guess that means I wanted to work for a nonprofit. I also wanted a working environment that consists predominantly of women. The lucky bonus would be a job that fulfilled all aforementioned requirements, but would simultaneously provide intellectual stimulation both professionally and personally.

Well, I got what I wished for, of course. But, like most things in life, it's not quite what I envisioned. My current job meets all my premeditated requirements including the bonus feature, but I'm surrounded by inefficiency, premenstral dispositions every day of every month, and no one who understands what my job consists of because I know how to use a shitload of computer software and apparently, no one else in the agency has any idea what that means.

But it's OK.

I'm always up for a challenge.

photo by: LL